I had a really weird spiritual experience yesterday, which I’m not ready to talk about here yet. But I was thinking just now about how grateful I am that I have a circle of trusted people in my life that I will be telling this experience to, and asking them what they make of it.
Do you long for that safe inner circle? Do you feel like an oddball sometimes, like you experience things that you can’t explain? Do you yearn for deeper connection with the divine, even if you don’t know quite what you mean by that? And do you sense you have something big to give to the world, but you have no idea how to bring it into existence?
I sent an email a few days ago with this list of traits that might show you that you’re part of the Healing Team. Here it is again:
A sense of having a specific mission or purpose involving a major transformation in human experience, but being unable to articulate what this change might be.
High levels of empathy; a sense of feeling what others feel.
An urgent desire to lessen or prevent suffering for humans, animals, or even plants.
Loneliness stemming from a sense of difference, despite generally high levels of social activity.
High creativity; passion for music, poetry, performance, or visual arts.
An intense love of animals, sometimes a desire to communicate with them.
Difficult early life, often with a history of abuse or childhood trauma.
Intense connection to certain of natural environments, such as the ocean, mountains or forest.
Resistance to orthodox religiosity, paradoxically accompanied by a strong sense of either spiritual purpose or spiritual yearning.
Love of plants and gardening, to the point of feeling empty or depressed without the chance to be among green things and/or help them grow.
Very high emotional sensitivity, often leading to predilections for anxiety, addiction, or eating disorders.
Sense of intense connection with certain cultures, languages, or geographic regions.
Disability, often brain-centered (dyslexia, retardation, autism), in oneself or a loved one. Fascination with people who have intellectual disabilities or mental illness.
Apparently gregarious personality contrasting with deep need for periods of solitude.
Persistent or recurring physical illness, often severe, with symptoms that fluctuate inexplicably.
Daydreams (or night dreams) about healing damaged people, creatures, or places.
If you’re saying, “That’s me!” to a lot of these, chances are you’re a ‘Wayfinder.’ Wayfinders are the people who would have been the priests and priestesses, the shamans, the healers and medicine people in other cultures. The oracles of wisdom. The conduits of the divine to the human realm.
There are still places available, but I’ve been talking with quite a few people who have expressed interest so don’t procrastinate! We start on Thursday, July 13th!
Lots of interaction, discussion, questions and coaching on the live calls, and all the calls will be recorded to you can listen later if you like
A closed Facebook group where you can connect with me and all the other participants, and process what you’re learning and experiencing
A 60-minute 1-on-1 coaching session over the phone with me, which will be scheduled after the 5 sessions to help you apply all that you learned – and hey, that in itself makes this a great deal.I normally charge $125 for a session so you’re basically getting all the rest for twenty-five bucks!
So do you want to take the leap? I guarantee it will be a fun, exciting and insightful ride. Here is the link to leap with us:
What would happen if you took responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life, the things you like and the things you don’t like?
I mean REALLY take responsibility, and acknowledge that you created them?
When I first came across this concept, it totally pissed me off. If you’re feeling your hackles rise already, hang with me here, and let me give an example.
What if you’re headed home from work, and the traffic just sucks?
What if YOU create this reality??????
But I wouldn’t create THAT, you say indignantly. Who wants a traffic jam and a crappy drive home at the end of the day?
Just humor me here for a minute, and let’s play with ways and reasons maybe you did actually create this reality. First, on the most practical, concrete level, you chose to live in the place you live, you chose to have a job that you have to drive to, and you chose to go to work today instead of calling in sick. And you are choosing to drive home now, during rush hour, instead of leaving early or staying late. You might be saying, but I HAD to do all that because I’ve got a child to get home to and rent to pay. But go deep here: there’s an accumulation of your choices that add up to this moment. You chose to not abort that child. You chose to say yes to the job you have. It was all your choices that brought you to this very moment of sitting in stopped traffic! You’re really powerful! You created this moment!
And another concrete aspect: you are driving a car, right? So you’re the person that the guy in the car behind you subconsciously thinks is causing the back-up. He thinks you’re a powerful creator of this traffic jam (along with every other driver).
What if there are some deeper reasons that you created this reality right now? Depending on your worldview, what if you’ve been praying for patience, or you made a soul contract before you came into this world that you would learn patience this time around? And what if you’re feeling desperate to be able to be more patient and gentle with that child you’re going home to, who you love something fierce but she’s at THAT age? What if you created this reality to give yourself a chance to practice being patient?
This post has gotten really long, so I’m not going to give you one of the tools I use. I’ll save it for later today or tomorrow. For now, just ponder this idea of taking full responsibility for EVERYTHING in your reality field.
And make sure you don’t miss out on my next installment! I’m posting each of these blogs first on my new Facebook group, How to Create a Magical Life. Come join me!
Here’s what I’ve been thinking about and pondering the past few weeks. Let me see if I can write it in a way that makes sense — and if it doesn’t make sense, challenge me! I’m still getting my head around this idea.
Let’s start with the idea that our thoughts create our reality. It doesn’t really matter HOW you think that happens. It could be that you believe sort of an energetic model that our thoughts are energy and so is everything else, and there’s power in our thoughts to shift energy in various directions. It could be that you believe in a divine being or a loving universe who answers prayers — i.e., responds to our thoughts. (I think I believe some mixture of those two ideas). Or you could simply take a more material, scientific view that some human somewhere what to think of (imagine) your car before it came into existence, the clothes you’re wearing, etc. And tell me where I’m wrong, but I’m guessing that most of us could agree that whether we choose to think positively or negatively about a situation has a huge effect on how we experience it — in other words, we change situations simply by how we think about them.
Anyway, if our thoughts create our reality, then why to we so often not get the good things we want? Let’s say, for example, that you’re longing and longing for a life partner. You dream about (think about, imagine) her or him constantly. You can FEEL what it would be like to have them in your life. Maybe you do specific exercises to try to manifest them, like writing out all the qualities you want in them. And you do all kinds of self-work to be a good, loving partner.
So here’s one of the things that I think is going on that blocks us. When we focusing so much on the asking part, what’s actually going on inside us is that we’re truly focusing more on the LACK OF WHAT WE WANT. All that longing and wanting actually highlights the gap between our life as it is now, and the dream of what it would be like with the awesome partner. So we THINK we’re putting out energy to the universe of what we want, or we THINK we’re praying for what we want, but WE’RE ACTUALLY JUST FIXATING ON WHAT WE DON’T HAVE!!!!!!!
All that wanting and longing is actually just more scarcity thinking!
And this applies whether you want that life partner, a better job, more money, to follow your life’s purpose, or whatever.
ASKING usually makes most of us feel our lack more acutely!!!!!
So what to do?
Just for a day or two, try this: focus on the fact that YOU ARE A MAGICAL BEING, and you’re creating a magical life for yourself, but set aside your specific desires for the moment. (You can have them all back once you’ve tried this experiement.) 🙂 Just become aware of everything you’re creating around you — the things you want and the things you don’t want. Just pay attention. “Hey, I just manifested that!!!!! Wow!!!” Or “Eeewwwww, I just manifested that. I need to take responsibility. What do I need to learn or change so I don’t to THAT again.”
If you try this, let us know what happens! I’ve been playing with it for a few weeks, and I am in awe of what I’m manifesting in my life just by letting go of the specifics.
You know how sometimes it feels like your mind just, well, has a mind of its own? You don’t seem to have any control over all your thoughts – they just go spinning and spiraling into all kinds of dark places.
OMG, what if that weird lump is cancer?
OMG, I’m not gonna have enough money for the mortgage.
OMG, he/she doesn’t love me anymore.
You’re too fat.
You’re too old.
And blah, blah, blah and on and on. Right? Whatever your preferred ‘bad voices’ say to you, when they get going, you don’t stand a chance of making them shut up.
You maybe even know logically that what you’re thinking isn’t true, but it FEELS so true.
Want some tools to help you find peace up there in your head?
I’m giving my free class, “Wordlessness: Finding the Peaceful Place in Your Brain,”in just about one hour via conference call, and it’s not too late to join me! (Wouldn’t an hour on the phone be worth it if you could go away with some tools to help you quiet those voices?)
I’ve wanted the world to be magical. I’ve wanted a magical God, who did real miracles. And I wanted to understand the intersection of magic and science, or what I would now call spirituality and science. Mental telepathy, the energy of crystals, people getting healed through laying on of hands, astrology – all of it have fascinated me since I was a child.
Do you relate?
If I had been born into a culture other than ours, some adult would have probably realized early on that I was called to be a ‘Wayfinder’ – a medicine woman, a priestess, a shaman, a healer. I would have been schooled in the technologies of magic – given tools to match my curiosity and desire. But that component of mentoring is missing from our culture, so those of us who are born knowing we’re light workers have to chart our own course through a lot of possibilities. It’s taken me years, but I’ve gradually found my way toward my own true north. I’ve found my way to becoming a modern-day Wayfinder.
If you’re resonating with this, I want to help you find YOUR way!
You wanna know when things started getting different (and lots better) for me? Really different? When I encountered, over the past few years, various authors and teachers who had delved deeply into that place where magic and science intersect. And one of the books that has been most transformative has been “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World” by Martha Beck. As a sociologist, she researched commonalities found among the training and work of ‘Wayfinders’ of many cultures, and discovered that the first step of becoming magic is learning to drop into what she calls, ‘Wordlessness,’ a state where we’re thinking in images, not words.
Wordlessness as a skill is useful on all kinds of levels. It’s wonderful to live inside a brain/mind that’s not constantly spinning with thoughts. So you may want to sign up for my free class just to learn this one piece. But if you have a hunch you might be one of these Wayfinders I’m talking about, learning Wordlessness is essential for all the rest of what you’re called to do.
No, I haven’t managed to manifest everything single thing I ever wanted. I haven’t yet levitated or walked on coals. But I have seen a lot of miracles, a lot of answered prayers, a lot of synchronicities. I have bent a stainless steel spoon, experiencing it become soft and warm in my hands and agreeing to bend for me. I’ve been out hiking and called coyotes and snakes to show themselves…and seen them. I’ve experienced energy flowing out of my hands to heal others.
And you? Have you been longing for magic your whole life? Even if you’re feeling a little sheepish to admit it? Or maybe you haven’t quite stepped into your magical self, but you’ve stuck a big toe in and you want more. Or perhaps you’re well acquainted with the frustration of believing in magic but not seeing results.
It’s time for a growth spurt! That’s why I’ll be teaching a one-hour FREE class via teleconference. This training, called “Wordlessness: Finding the Peaceful Place in Your Brain,” is for you if you know you’re one of those Wayfinders, or you’re a Wayfinder Wannabe — you know you’re called to be a magical being — you want to accept the call — you want to grow! This class is also for you if you simply are sick of the endlessly whirling thoughts in your head, and you’d just like a little peace and quiet up there.
I hope you’ll join me live on this call:
Date: Thursday, June 29th, 2017
11:30am Eastern Time
10:30am Central Time,
9:30am Mountain Time
8:30am Pacific Time
The call will be recorded if you can’t make it live, but you gotta sign up to get the recording.
I have a great business accountability partner. We talk each week about what we accomplished in the previous week, what we procrastinated on, what didn’t go so well and what flowed. We set commitments for ourselves for the coming week. And we talk about what we want to manifest.
For 4 or 5 weeks, I’ve been trying to manifest the same thing. And it hasn’t happened. Finally, rather than just putting it on my list of commitments again, and feeling frustrated again, I asked my partner if she had any insight into why it wasn’t happening for me.
And we figured out that it was because I didn’t have that deep knowing that what I wanted to manifest already WANTED to happen. What do I mean by that? Back in my charismatic Christian days, I would have said that I had heard the voice of God about it — God was already speaking the thing into existence. Martha Beck says that she drops into the Everywhen and discovers something wants to happen. You might feel it as that gut feeling or that knowing that just dropped into your intuition: you know that you know that a certain thing is coming your way.
But whatever we call it, it’s the same thing: you have a knowing in your know that something wants to come into existence. So then the ‘manifesting’ part becomes simply the faith that you’ve already seen it, and you can trust that it will be.
My problem was that I didn’t have the knowing about what I wanted to manifest these past few weeks. I hadn’t taken the time to ask the divine what was waiting to be created. I hadn’t dropped into the Everywhen to see what wanted to happen. Instead of co-creating something based on a deep knowing, I was trying to force a good idea to happen.
It doesn’t work.
So my commitment for this week is to take the time to — whatever you want to call it — listen to the voice of God, drop into the Everywhen, check in with your knower — about what wants to happen regarding this particular thing.
I was coaching someone last week, a lovely, conscious, self-aware soul, and he said at one point, “I’m pretty good at affirming my way out of things,” referring to negative thought patterns. Our conversation moved on, but later, I was thinking about something: affirmations don’t actually work.
Well, they do work, in a way, but not the way we usually think.
What an affirmation? An affirmation is a statement of a truth we believe in our head or we think we should believe. It might be something as simple as, “I am loveable,” or “God loves me.” It is often a statement of something that you WANT to believe is true, but don’t quite. Some examples might be:
My hormones are perfectly balanced.
My living space is peaceful and filled with love.
My interactions with my boss are helpful to both of us.
In the years since books like The Secret or You Can Heal Your Life have come out, lots of people have tried repeating affirmations. And they do sometimes bring some comfort or even some change.
But it takes a freakin’ lot of work to keep repeating an affirmation over and over, trying to force your brain to receive it, trying to make it sink into your heart. Affirmations seem to lose their effectiveness after a while. Or we desperately say them, while knowing we don’t actually believe them even though we want to or know we should.
So what’s the problem?
The problem is that we’re using affirmations all wrong. Affirmations are like bandages. They stick to the surface of our bodies, helping keep our blood inside us and infections out. But bandages don’t actually cause healing. They just hold space for healing to happen. Underneath the bandage, the wound still exists.
And in this metaphor, what’s under the bandage?
Lurking inside us, deeper than our good words of affirmation, are all kinds of painful things we ACTUALLY believe. Things like:
I don’t deserve to be loved
I’m a bad person
If he/she/they really knew me, they wouldn’t like me
I’ll never make enough money
…and on and on. And these are the beliefs that are REALLY controlling your life. Why? Because they’re the things you believe in that primal, innermost part of your soul.
So if you’ve been pushing yourself to affirm only the good, to think only positive thoughts, and all the rest of it, what now?
We need to let our real beliefs come to the surface.
“NOOOOOOOOO,” I hear you scream. “I don’t want to go into all that negativity. I don’t want to create a negative reality.”
But those beliefs are there whether you acknowledge them or not. So wouldn’t it be simpler and take less energy to admit their reality? Because when we let our worst thoughts come to the surface and we admit that they’re there, we stop fighting with reality. And when we fight with reality, we only lose 100% of the time.
So I dare you: the next time you find yourself feeling triggered in your emotions by someone or something, ask yourself what the most immature, selfish, ugly part of yourself is saying right now, and bingo!, you’ll know what you really believe.
Then and only then can you begin to heal the wounds, when you’ve ripped off the bandages and faced the reality of the wound. And once you heal the wound, the affirmation-bandages magically turn into beautiful banners of truth waving over your life.
In my next email, I’m going to talk about how we can completely dissolve those painful beliefs, but I don’t want to leave you hanging if this email stirred up your emotions. Please email me if you want to talk. (cynthia [at] MagicCarpetLifeCoaching dot com). I offer one-hour free sessions over the phone where we can explore whether I can help you do some thought-dissolving. And for those of you who’ve already done one of my free sessions and your knower is saying it’s time to work together and heal some of those wounds, let me know! I’m here for you!
In my culture of middle-class America, people are nice.
There has been a high cultural value placed on not expressing anger. But that’s shifting. Have you heard people saying lately that it seems like people all around us are getting more and more angry?
But I have a hunch this isn’t a surge of NEW anger that’s welling up. Instead, I think lots of people are suddenly getting in touch with anger that’s been buried inside them for years. And this could ultimately be really, really good for all of us.
I’ll give you an example of something happened to me recently, when I felt annoyed, was too nice, but didn’t actually know I was angry until afterwards. While we were under contract to sell our house, one of the things that we needed was a new survey. I had been told in advance that no one needed to enter the house. Two men arrived, and the one who seemed to be in charge knocked on the door and introduced himself. Then they started doing their surveying thing.
A little while later, he knocked again and asked me if he could see our house because it was so cute. I was completely caught off guard because when a house is for sale, you’re supposed to contact the realtor and have them arrange an appointment for you to see it. Plus, once a house is under contract, you stop showing it, and he would have known we were under contract, because that’s why we needed the new survey.
But that darn belief that says I’m supposed to be ‘nice’ rose up in me and drowned out the voice that said it felt inappropriate for him to ask. So I let him in and showed him the ground level, which is basically one open space. As he looked around, I sort of walked with him, then ended up between him and the stairs. My whole body language was saying, “Okay, you can look around here, but not the bedrooms. That’s the end of your tour.”
Then he said, “Can I see the rest?”
I said, “Well, it’s not clean like it was for the showings.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” said he, and just came barging straight towards me. He didn’t actually touch me, but only because I instinctively stepped out of the way. I followed him through the rest of the house, feeling completely uncomfortable that I was alone with an unknown man looking at our bedrooms.
But did I tell him? No, I just chatted pleasantly about how much we’ve loved the house since we bought it.
Because my training in niceness was so strong. Even though I felt physically vulnerable, and even though his actions were completely inappropriate and unprofessional, I didn’t protest. In fact, in that moment, I didn’t even know I was angry. If someone had asked, I might have noticed I felt ‘annoyed.’
(Just so you know the end of the story before I make my point, I did call the company later and complained to the owner, who agreed that it was not appropriate.)
Feeling annoyed – there have been a few people in my life who always say they are annoyed, never that they are angry. My mom was one of those. She was one of the kindest people in my life, and she seldom got visibly angry. She got annoyed. I just looked up the root of ‘annoy,’ and it is from a Latin word that means to make odious, i.e., to make hateful. I have a hunch that when we say we are annoyed, or something is annoying, we often mean it more strongly than we are willing to express – that we are angry.
Why is it good to know we’re angry?
Because anger that isn’t acknowledged doesn’t go away; it just morphs into other unpleasant forms.
Morphed anger can become:
Perfectionism, which is anger that you’ve turned on yourself when you don’t live up to your own standards, even if they’re unreasonable. You make it impossible to be happy with yourself, or satisfied, or to love yourself, because the standards are too high. Perfectionism is actually just a code-word for self-hatred. You probably have a case of perfectionism and self-hatred if, when you make a mistake, you say things to yourself like, “You’re so stupid. You just did it again. Why do you always…? Why can’t you ever…?”
Depression, which is anger that feels powerless to change either yourself or your circumstances. Our sense of personal power is zapped, and we live in victim mode, allowing life to happen to us and feeling sorry for ourselves. And depression can make us more prone to illness or addiction.
Volatility, which is anger directed at the wrong target. Volatility is experiencing more anger at a situation than most people would think is warranted. Volatility is getting mad at the store clerk when actually you’re angry with your spouse.
The next time you find yourself feeling ‘annoyed,’ but perhaps still acting nice, just ask yourself this question: am I angry?
And what if you discover you ARE angry? I have two suggestions.
Suggestion One is forgiveness. I survived a terrorist attack. Click on the link below to listen to my story, and how I realized I was angry and learned to forgive.
Suggestion Two is to schedule a one-hour free ‘I’m Annoyed and I Don’t Know What To Do About It’ Breakthrough session with me. Just email me on cynthia [at] MagicCarpetLifeCoaching dot com, and let me know you’d like to talk, and we’ll get something on the calendar. I can help you go from feeling annoyed, acting nice, and allowing your anger to morph into something worse, to learning how to process anger in healthy, useful ways.
Yep, that’s the first thing I said to myself when I set a challenge for myself and didn’t reach it.
Cynthia, you’re a failure.
You see, I got all excited when I read about a business guru doing a 30-day challenge to post on Facebook Live every day. I’ve been wanting to create lots of short guided meditations to give away, and FB Live is the perfect tool for that. So I made a big announcement that I was going to do 30 days in a row. I did Day 1, a meditation for when you’re tired, stressed and overwhelmed. I did Day 2, and I was still feeling tired, stressed and overwhelmed, so that’s what that day was about.
Then I missed 2 days. I tried to justify that they were weekend days, and I hadn’t decided if I was going to do weekends or not. But I was mad at myself about it, because deep inside, I knew I intended to do 30 days straight. It wasn’t a realistic intention, but that was my intention.
Plus, the video I did on Day 3 got all ‘messed up’ because I was interrupted while I was trying to record it. It was supposed to be about stillness in the midst of chaos, but the chaos interrupted me as I was record. So that was a failure.
I wanted to go back and delete that video, but then I thought, no, this could be a great example of overcoming obstacles. So I tried again to record my stillness in chaos video. But I found it really hard to enter in to the stillness. Another failure.
Or was it?
Was any of it a failure???
Or is that just a story I’m telling myself?
Maybe there is another story that is more true. How about this story: the videos I’ve created so far are helping people. It doesn’t matter that I skipped a few days. Also, I haven’t tried to do something like this before, creating a meditation at the same time every day, so there’s a natural learning curve. I’m a beginner at doing this 30-day challenge, so it’s not going to be perfect. I can just start again.