I’m a Failure (You Ever Say That?)

I’m a failure.

Yep, that’s the first thing I said to myself when I set a challenge for myself and didn’t reach it.

Cynthia, you’re a failure.

You see, I got all excited when I read about a business guru doing a 30-day challenge to post on Facebook Live every day.  I’ve been wanting to create lots of short guided meditations to give away, and FB Live is the perfect tool for that.  So I made a big announcement that I was going to do 30 days in a row.  I did Day 1, a meditation for when you’re tired, stressed and overwhelmed.  I did Day 2, and I was still feeling tired, stressed and overwhelmed, so that’s what that day was about.

Then I missed 2 days.  I tried to justify that they were weekend days, and I hadn’t decided if I was going to do weekends or not.  But I was mad at myself about it, because deep inside, I knew I intended to do 30 days straight.  It wasn’t a realistic intention, but that was my intention.

Plus, the video I did on Day 3 got all ‘messed up’ because I was interrupted while I was trying to record it.  It was supposed to be about stillness in the midst of chaos, but the chaos interrupted me as I was record.  So that was a failure.

I wanted to go back and delete that video, but then I thought, no, this could be a great example of overcoming obstacles.  So I tried again to record my stillness in chaos video.  But I found it really hard to enter in to the stillness.  Another failure.

Or was it?

Was any of it a failure???

Or is that just a story I’m telling myself?

Maybe there is another story that is more true.  How about this story:  the videos I’ve created so far are helping people.  It doesn’t matter that I skipped a few days.  Also, I haven’t tried to do something like this before, creating a meditation at the same time every day, so there’s a natural learning curve.  I’m a beginner at doing this 30-day challenge, so it’s not going to be perfect.  I can just start again.

Ah, that feels so much better.

Check out my videos here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXr6cswIBUY0n_ThrsF4vYQ

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