I have a simple goal, to write one newsletter/blog every month. It seems like a realistic goal. I like to write. I always have tons of ideas of things I’d like to write about. I know it’s a good way to connect with all of you about my coaching business and my jewelry art.
But here it is, the last day of June, and I haven’t done it yet. And I realized this morning that I was beating myself up about not managing to reach this simple goal. “Cynthia, it’s NOT hard. Why haven’t you made time to do it? What’s wrong with you that you’re so disorganized that you can’t get one newsletter out the door in a month?” And on and on…
The thing is that most of that chatter from my bad voices wasn’t rising to my conscious mind. It was just churning below the surface, making me feel cranky and dissatisfied with myself and restless. But then I did a visualization exercise, and encountered myself JUST SITTING DOWN AND WRITING IT! No fuss. No hours of wondering if I was saying the right thing, in the best way. Just writing a simple post about perfectionism, coming up again. Just writing a few words about the endless desire to be perfect and to do everything perfectly, and the way I degrade myself and scold myself when I don’t. And how, when I allow those bad voices to come up to the surface, I can send myself compassion instead.
Is this newsletter worth writing? Yes. Therefore, isn’t it better to write SOMEthing rather than nothing? Martha Beck says that most things that are worth doing are worth doing badly. She’s talking about being willing to be a beginner and a learner, but it applies here. It’s worth it to me to stay in contact with people. It’s worth it to me to offer the lessons I’m learning in my life as a gift to those of you who read this. Therefore, it’s better to get a quick note about perfectionism finished and sent/posted, rather than not write it at all.
I’m not gonna edit and proofread this. So there!