I just had a moment of insight. I have been trying to manifest a certain amount of money in a certain amount of time to put toward a vacation to some certain places that Craig and I are planning. I followed the steps. I listened deeply to my knower, to the Divine, to what wants to happen in the Everywhen, and I heard a certain amount of money. I asked deeply, believing deeply in the Now that the money is already mine. Ask, believing, and you shall receive. But I’ve been having a really hard time with the final step: detaching from the outcome, and trusting that the “how’s” will be taken care of by the universe. Instead of trusting, I’ve been thinking about it obsessively, imagining ways it could come about.
But just now, as I wrote my Morning Pages, I had a realization. It’s hard to detach from wanting money for any purpose because it’s such a symbol of security, freedom, power, and all kinds of other things. It’s still too big a step for me to detach from wanting money, because it has so many emotional hooks. But I CAN take a smaller, easier step, and detach from the thing I want this particular money for: our vacation. Because what I REALLY want to manifest is a great vacation. And that great vacation might not look exactly like what we’ve been envisioning. It might not cost what we estimated it will cost. In fact, a great vacation might involve things we haven’t thought of, because the Divine knows exactly what combination of goodness we need: adventure, play, rest, beauty.
Craig and I talked last night, and decided that we will only spend whatever is already saved in our ‘Fun Fund’ account now, plus anything else that comes in before we leave. We’ll scale our trip according to what we have.
It’s not about manifesting the money. It’s about receiving exactly the vacation we both need to be refreshed for the next part of the year. And unlike my struggle to detach from the desire for a certain amount of money, I can easily detach from the desire for a great vacation, leaving it in the care of the Divine, trusting that it will come about in a beautiful, unexpected way.