This morning, I woke up really anxious. I have some health decisions to make and some health unknowns. Suddenly, it popped into my head to say and intend, “I accept today’s troubles.” And when I did, to my amazement, my anxiety dissolved. Here’s what I wrote in my Morning Pages an hour or so later, almost completely unedited. I mention ‘Lolie’ – that’s the name for my inner lizard, the primitive part of my brain that shouts desperate messages of lack and attack to me. She was shrieking in terror this morning, sure that my health issues were going to lead to my imminent and torturous demise. I don’t recommend sharing one’s journaling work normally, but what poured out of me today has power to help someone else. Magic.
Morning Pages, 05-06-2014
I accept today’s troubles. I open myself to all my challenges, all the problems, and all that is beyond my control. I accept. I affirm that the Universe is my safe place. I affirm that all my troubles are here to teach me, to bless me, to help me grow. I choose to stop pushing these blessings away. Troubles, I accept you. I accept. I accept.
As I write this, and as I thought it earlier this morning for the first time, something inside me relaxed. I let go and let the troubles in, and I stopped trying to push them away. Lolie signed a big sigh, tucked her head under her wing, and went back to her nap.
I’m so grateful. To stop fighting what I can’t control – what an amazing thing! To trust – what an amazing thing! And wow, all I did was accept my troubles. Open my heart to their energy. I can’t control all the cancer of the world. I can’t control the environmental threats and impacts and influences I am exposed to. I accept. I accept my mighty strength as a divine being fill with God. Enthused. And I accept my complete weakness as a frail, delicate animal creature. I am both and it is good.
So strange – my anxiety dissolved as I did this. All I did was accept today’s troubles, and my anxiety dissolved. Joy began to flow back in. Love can reach me. I accept today’s troubles. I stop fighting against them. I am here now.